I Can Barely Take Care of Myself: Tales From a Happy Life Without Kids by Jen Kirkman

Synopsis:

"You'll Change Your Mind." 

That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman—and countless women like her—when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control. Parenthood can be very rewarding, but let's face it, so are margaritas at the adults-only pool. 

Jen's stand-up routine includes lots of jokes about not having kids (and some about masturbation and Johnny Depp), after which complete strangers constantly approach her and ask, "But who will take care of you when you're old?" (Servants!) Some insist, "You'd be such a great mom!" (Really? You know me so well!) 

Whether living rent-free in her childhood bedroom while trying to break into comedy (the best free birth control around, she says), or taking the stage at major clubs and joining a hit TV show—and along the way getting married, divorced, and attending excruciating afternoon birthday parties for her parent friends—Jen is completely happy and fulfilled by her decision not to procreate. 

I Can Barely Take Care of Myself is a beacon of hilarious hope for anyone whose major life decisions have been questioned by friends, family, and strangers in a comedy club bathroom. And it should satisfy everyone who wonders if Jen will ever know true love without looking into the eyes of her child.

After finding her comedy specials on Netflix, Jen Kirkman became my favorite comedian. Now, I am an avid I Seem Fun listener (her podcast), and I bought both of her books. I figured I should read them in order, so this one was up first.

As a fellow person who doesn’t have kids and possibly won't have them, this book was hilarious. It’s so true that as a woman you always get questioned about if/when you’re having kids.

We aren’t machines, people!

If you like comedy and enjoy autobiographical essays, you’ll likely enjoy this book. Even more so if you’re a woman without kids.

5/5 Stars

Memorable Quote: “I think that people confuse a woman with empathy with someone who has the emotional means to raise a child. I’m not mother material but I’m a nice person, sure. And I’m a nice person because I’m usually in a good mood and I’m in a good mood because I’m not responsible for raising a child I don’t want.”

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Hot Six by Janet Evanovich

Synopsis:

Low-rent bounty hunter Stephanie Plum reaches depths of personal experience that other women detectives never quite do. In Hot Six, for example, a sequence of new and hideous cars bite the dust; she finds herself lumbered with a policeman's multiply incontinent dog; and she has several bad skin days. All this when she is trying to prove her distinctly more competent colleague and occasional boyfriend Ranger innocent of a mob hit; avoid the heavies trailing her in the hope of finding him; and cope with a wife-abusing bail defaulter with nasty habits, such as setting Stephanie on fire.

It’s been awhile since I picked up this series, and I forgot exactly how much I love it. It was super easy to jump right back in to all of the crazy shenanigans.

I’m pretty sure we’re made to think Stephanie is a pretty slim character, but with the way she eats, I don’t see how she could be! If she is, I’m certainly jealous. I would love to have her diet and still be in shape.

There are parts of these books that drive me nuts. I know it’s supposed to add to the comedy, but sometimes the characters are so incompetent I feel like screaming. I get past it quickly, but it does make my eye twitch.

Also – can we just talk about how amazing Grandma Mazur is? She is such a gem of a character no matter what book you are reading. She’s hilarious and really gives these books a lot of life.

Now, for the storyline of Hot Six – it was pretty interesting. It seemed pretty normal for Stephanie and her “everything-goes-wrong” lifestyle. But, what is normal for her is absolutely NOT for us normal folks. So, it was a fun ride as usual even if she was running into danger around every corner.

I had a fun time reading Hot Six and it was one of those books that just flies by.

5/5 Stars

Memorable Quote: “Probably the pink stucco was very Mediterranean. And probably in the summer, when the awnings were unrolled and the porch furniture was uncovered, and the sun and the heat washed over the Jersey shore, the pink house felt like itself. In March it looked like it was waiting for the Prozac to kick in. Pale and cold and stolid.”

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Four to Score by Janet Evanovich

Synopsis:

Stephanie Plum, Trenton, New Jersey's favorite pistol-packing, condom-carrying bounty hunter, is back - and on the trail of a revenge-seeking waitress who's skipped bail. With the help of 73-year-old Grandma Mazur, ex-hooker Lula, a transvestite musician named Sally Sweet, and the all-too-hospitable, all-too-sexy Joe Morelli, Stephanie might just catch her woman. Then again, with more mishaps than there are exits on the Jersey Turnpike - including murders, firebombs, and Stephanie's arch-rival bounty hunter chasing after the same fugitive - Stephanie better watch her back big-time if she wants to live to crack this case.

This book had a lot of mystery in it. Stephanie’s main case doesn’t make much sense. There is a woman on the run while playing a clue game with her ex-boyfriend. Meanwhile, the people around her are being cut and injured by someone.

In the middle of that case, someone starts terrorizing Stephanie causing her to lose her car and her apartment. And if that wasn’t bad enough, Morelli’s whole family is convinced that she is pregnant and they are getting married.

It was a strange book right from the start, but that is what made it so intriguing. I found it really hard to put down which was great.

I was right that the chapters don’t seem as long anymore now that I am used to their length. Reading too many James Patterson books had me used to 2-3 page chapters.

I haven’t hit a dull point in this series yet, and I hope that doesn’t happen.

I hope Sally remains a part of this series, but I have a feeling that he will be gone after this book.

5/5 Stars

Memorable quotes: “In my world, God and Santa Claus did not micromanage lives. Of course, that meant you couldn’t count on them to lose weight, either.”

“I like Lula a lot, but last time we worked together I gained seven pounds and almost got arrested for shooting a guy who was already dead.”

“Tonight my aloneness felt lonely, and maybe even a little frightening.”

“I loved my mother, but love only goes so far when you’re trying to explain how your grandmother ended up standing on a blackjack table in a packed casino.”

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Facebook Jeanie by Addison Westlake

Facebook Jeanie described in one phrase would be: A breath of fresh air.

It has humor (and a lot of it!), it has romance, and it is also a bit touching at times.

When Clara has a chance to go back in time to college and try to mend things with her then-boyfriend (instead of staring at his pictures everyday on facebook!) she jumps right at the chance.

Have you ever wondered how your life would be different if you could go back and change something?

Clara gets to figure out!

This book allows you to explore those thoughts without it actually happening to you. She goes through some pretty hilarious scenarios from living I a huge house while having an affair with a crazy man wearing a thong and dancing to Im Sexy and I Know It, to being a hippy with a limp leg and snake jewelry.

I found myself laughing out loud MANY times while reading this book.

I mean… cat turban, anyone?!

5/5 stars. It was hilarious, it was sweet, and just an all-around complete book. 

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While you're at it, check out Addison's other book Christmas in Wine Country

F in Exams by Richard Benson

Now that my finals week is over, and others are going through the stress as I am writing this. I thought I would bring this little book of comedic relief.

F in Exams brings laughs from reading what students write when they are clueless on exams.

It is something to keep your mind at ease if only for the little time that it takes to read it.

It is a short book, so don’t worry about it cutting into study time. Everyone needs a break every now and then, right?

Take a break from the stress in life and pick this up. It’s sure to make you laugh!

5/5 stars

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Fluke by Bart Hopkins and David Elliott

Fluke is a story about a man named Adam Fluke. He’s just an average pizza delivery man in his 20’s. He falls in love with a woman named Sara. It is a fun loving romantic story…. Until everything goes wrong.

Adam and Sara must travel back to Sara’s hometown to revisit her past and sort find the truth surrounding issues that were haunting them both. When the conclusion is what they were hoping it wouldn’t be, their relationship is in danger.

I feel like this novel was very well written. It started off as a fun, easy-going read. But, as you get further into it, it becomes more tense and issues start arising. I feel like the authors did a wonderful job with character development – something that isn’t always very easy to do.

They touch on some very rough topics that unfortunately many people have experienced throughout their lives, and they handled the writing of it very well.

I really enjoyed this book; to the point where I would probably read it a second time. The characters were all great, the story was very well written, and I really enjoyed the comedy side of it mixed in with the rough topics.

It was an easy read, and well worth it.

5/5 Stars   

Click here to purchase the book: http://www.amazon.com/Fluke-ebook/dp/B007Y4XDZE
To hear more from the authors click here:  www.barthopkins.com        

                                  

Read ahead for spoilers